So you are getting married! Congratulations. If you’re thinking of a church wedding, it will involve meeting your vicar for a chat. Don’t worry, it’s not like going to the doctor!
Here are some frequently asked questions from the Church of England. You can also ask our Resident Rev, Jan Harney anything by simply contacting us through this site.
Where do we start?
Most people get married in their local church (called their Parish Church). This is the easiest way of having a church wedding. If you don’t know where your church is or the name of the vicar, go to Find a Church. Perhaps a church has a special meaning to you, perhaps you went there as a child or you were christened there. Find out the name of the vicar and have a chat to find out if it is possible.
We’re not sure we’re religious enough. Does this matter?
The Church of England thinks marriage is really important and special. They want to welcome you at this important stage of your relationship, whatever your views about religion. You may not think of yourself as very religious but you are important to the Church all the same. So talk to them!
Can we choose any church? We really like the idea of a traditional wedding in an old church.
It is understood that for many couples, a church makes the wedding seem special and important. Old churches can have a great atmosphere and a sense of God being with you. However, you only have the right to be married in your own parish church so check it out first. You can be married elsewhere but you may need to attend the church more regularly.
One of us is divorced. Is this ok?
The Church of England believes that marriage is for life. But it recognises that sadly, some marriages do fail. In some circumstances, the Church accepts that a divorced person may marry again. Speak to your parish priest. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may be willing to offer you service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
You have booked the wedding. Congratulations! Now you have to meet the vicar.
We’re really nervous. Is it like an interview?
Many couples like the personal dimension of a church wedding because it makes it special for them. That means getting to know the vicar! He or she will also want to get to know you and to support you as you plan for your wedding. Because the Church of England takes marriage seriously, many churches also offer marriage preparation, which gives you an opportunity to think about your relationship and love as well as the wedding itself!
Do we have to be christened?
No!
Are we expected to go to church a lot?
If you are not getting married in your parish church then you will probably be asked to attend regularly in order to fulfil the residency requirements. It’s a good opportunity to get to know the church so it doesn’t seem so strange on the day, to get to know the vicar and get used to being in church. Many couples say it adds value and meaning to their wedding day.
